随笔 - 《存在的痕迹：不在于石碑，而于涟漪》
观此视频有感
《存在的痕迹：不在于石碑，而于涟漪》
小时候我就在想——
人生的价值是什么？
是钱吗？是权吗？是骄奢淫逸吗？
那些生不带来、死不带去的东西罢了。
人生没多长，
人生不应该只是一场体验，
人生应该留下些什么，
人生应该有价值。
钱、权，这些终将在你死去的那一刻消散。
或许你为家人带来了财富，让他们享了福，
我不能说这没有价值，
但这还不够，远远不够。
五十年、百年之后，他们也会逝去，
你的存在，也将被慢慢淡忘。
如果这世间没有了你存在的痕迹，
那么，你在这个世界上真的活过吗？
年幼的我，怀揣着科研的梦想，
认为知识是宝贵的财富。
我曾以为，一切都是虚妄，
唯有将知识——这人类的瑰宝——传承下去，
让若干年、数十年之后，
还有人使用这些知识，
那便是人生价值的体现。
后来，时间冲刷着一切。
麻木、迷茫，混杂着泥沙一团糟的日子，
似乎，好像也就这样活一辈子了。
苦难是什么？
是肉体上的饥寒交迫吗？
确实，那也是苦难。
可最痛苦的折磨是什么呢？
是当我遇见像那个视频里一样的事情时，
什么都做不了——
没有能力伸出援手，
没有能力改变任何，
只能眼睁睁地看着一切发生。
那种精神上的撕裂与无力，
不就是最大的苦难吗？
我年幼时满怀希望，
以科研去证明人生价值。
后来才发现，这并不如我想象中那般简单。
那是一个遥远的理想。
不过，无需气馁，也无需放弃。
在前行的路上，
若能拉起身边跌倒的人，
那亦是值得的。
无论如何，
我不喜欢这种苦难。
我不喜欢清醒地看着一切坍塌，
连逃避都成了奢望。
也许，这就是活着的意义吧——
即使努力是一种痛苦，
那就让更大的痛苦逼着自己前进。
比苦难甜，就行了。
勿要，力不能挽流年，唯有目送山河倾——追悔莫及
The Traces of Existence: Not in Stone Monuments, But in Ripples
When I was young, I often wondered—
What is the value of life?
Is it money? Power? Debauchery?
But these are merely things we cannot bring with us at birth, nor take with us in death.
Life is not long.
Life should not be just an experience.
Life ought to leave something behind,
Life ought to have value.
Money, power—these will vanish the moment you die.
Perhaps you have brought wealth to your family, granted them comfort.
I cannot say this holds no value,
But it is not enough, far from enough.
Fifty years, a century later, they too will pass away,
And your existence will slowly fade from memory.
If no trace of you remains in this world,
Then, have you truly lived at all?
As a child, I cherished dreams of scientific research,
Believing knowledge to be a precious treasure.
I once thought that all else was illusion,
That only knowledge—this gem of humanity—passed down through generations,
So that years, decades later,
People would still make use of this knowledge—
That would be the manifestation of life’s value.
But as time washed over everything,
Numbness, confusion, and days muddled with chaos
Made it seem as if living out a lifetime this way was just how things were.
What is suffering?
Is it the pangs of hunger and cold?
Yes, that too is suffering.
But what is the most agonizing torment?
It is when I encounter situations like the one in that video,
And can do nothing—
Unable to reach out and help,
Unable to change anything,
Only able to watch it all unfold before my eyes.
That spiritual tearing and powerlessness—
Is that not the greatest suffering of all?
In my youth, I was full of hope,
Determined to prove life’s value through scientific research.
Only later did I realize it was not as simple as I had imagined.
It was a distant ideal.
Yet, there is no need for despair, no need to give up.
On the path forward,
If we can lift up those who have fallen beside us,
That too is meaningful.
No matter what,
I do not like this kind of suffering.
I do not like watching everything collapse with clear eyes,
Where even escape becomes a luxury.
Perhaps this is the meaning of living—
Even if effort is a form of pain,
Let a greater pain compel you to move forward.
As long as it is sweeter than the suffering, it is enough.
Do not let it be
That you lack the strength to hold back the flowing years, and can only watch the mountains and rivers fall—
Left with nothing but regret.
اللّٰهُ أَكْبَرُ